Fucksweeper
A downloadable game for Windows and macOS
The absolute most brutal possible version of the classic game Minesweeper, sponsored by FUCKBETS.PIZZA.
Forty squares in the grid have concealed victim-activated explosives that will blow your sick desperate meat straight to electric perdition* where you will consider the ramifications of your sins in an unending penitentiary loop of shame, arousal, and regret.
💕💕💕 ARE YOU SWEATING YET, CUPCAKE???? 💕💕💕
The other squares have logically consistent information that will help you determine where to click next to avoid the all-but-certain mathematical atomization of your quivering and corrupted essence.
💕💕💕 ARE YOUR NIPPLES STIFF AS BLOOD-SEASONED STARCRETE AS YOU FANTASIZE ABOUT YOUR OWN INEVITABLE MURDER??? 💕💕💕
*Compatible as a hard-sinus hallucination with all properly-calibrated astral gore computers.
💣 TIMELESS TORMENT: The clock mocks you, reminding you of the cowardice in your indecision. Only the swift and confident will survive.
🔥 PRIMAL GAMEPLAY: No excuses, no respite. This is Minesweeper in its purest, most savage form. No mercy for the weak: only the grim aesthetic joys that come from the relentless pursuit of sterile perfection.
🧠 THE ULTIMATE CHALLENGE: String inferences together to create a perfect modus tollens. Test this antecedent by gambling the totality of your wicked life on one reason-tested moment of crisp and dizzying risk.
UNEMPLOYED ADULTS ONLY (25+)
Download
Comments
Log in with itch.io to leave a comment.
these comments are how i learned what chording is in minesweeper
19 hours late to complain that you can't chord. I have lost control of my basal ganglia.
(This was fun, thank you for letting me subject myself to psychic damage.)
Ok, so let me get this straight: as a game/interactive experience/work of art, this is pretty good, and I've enjoyed the two hours I put away for this, but my GOD, is the actual Minesweeper terrible!
I get it's (funnily enough) not really the focus of the game, but given such a daring presentation I was expecting at least a perfectly functional rendition of the puzzle, but on top of there not being any chording support, you can hit a mine on your very first cell clear, and for some strange reason empty cells don't clear away the corners either, which certainly netted me more than a few losses.
That said, credit where credit's due. The vibes were on point, the writing was funny and this makes very good use of AI art to create eldritch abominations, which I thought was fun. Just don't come into this expecting to play Minesweeper and you won't be disappointed like me.
I can't seem to stop screaming, which logs me back in and out of my astral gore computer.
I relaxed and let minesweeper happen to me.
at some point, felt like the game was giving me actual brain damage (but I've won!!! :D so my brain is not fried now yeah?? pls)
I was a single jobless nobody before I played this game, now I am cognitively married to 87 concentrically diminished recursive clones of myself and transcended the need for flesh.
at last, a minesweeper clone that cuts out all the b. s.